


Serene Image

by lionofwrath



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Physical Abuse, Rape Recovery, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:44:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6193840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionofwrath/pseuds/lionofwrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren and Hux attempt to build a mutually supportive relationship with each other after Hux inadvertently learns that they have a similar trauma in their pasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ~~I should be kept away from the kink meme.~~ More seriously, please be aware of the warnings, there are some very nasty flashbacks here.
> 
> The full prompt:  
> They're not in a relationship, they're not even necessarily friends, but one day when Kylo's having a terrible nightmare he manages to project it across the ship to Hux. A nightmare of his first time, when he was forced to give his virginity to Snoke and/or the other knights of Ren.  
> Hux's first time was under similar circumstances, when he was cornered at the academy by a group of older boys, and he realises they may have more in common than he previously thought.  
> Hurt/comfort and tension ensue as Hux tries to tell Ren that it's alright, he understands and sympathizes, even as they awkwardly try to develop a working relationship.  
> \+ no actual sex between them, but focused on the aftermath of trauma

The chamber was cold and poorly lit, the floor and walls made of black stone that absorbed the meagre light rather than reflected it. He shivered, more from fear than cold, he had been ordered to obey though and he always obeyed his master.

‘Take your clothes off.’ The command echoed through the room. He couldn’t see his master yet, his senses dulled since he was forbidden from using the Force here. He dropped his head in defeat, undoing his clothing with shaking hands that fumbled at fastenings until he could sense his master’s impatience. The clothes finally dropped to the floor and he followed them down to kneel on the icy stone.

‘Good.’ He could hear the approval in his master’s voice. Feet stopped in front of him and a hand gripped his jaw tightly but he kept his eyes downcast. ‘Open your mouth.’

He complied of course, it didn’t matter that he didn’t actually want this. A half-hard cock rubbed against his cheek and he licked at it tentatively. There was no sound from his master and he closed his lips around the head, lapping at it with his tongue. The hand on his jaw tightened, another winding into his hair. He gagged when his master’s cock hit the back of his throat, he tried to get away but he was choking, held in place so he couldn’t move. His master fucked his mouth brutally and he closed his eyes, tears running down his cheeks, hating the feel as flesh slid across his tongue and down his throat.

Then it stopped, his master shoving him roughly to the floor, flipping him onto his stomach and pulling his hips up. He had agreed to this, he tried to convince himself, but it sounded like a lie to him now. A slick finger circled his entrance and he tensed as it slid inside him. His master pressed on something and his body jerked, pleasure making him gasp. Another finger worked inside him to stroke that spot over and over and he couldn’t stifle his moans. He rocked back against his master’s fingers as much as he could until he was held in place by the Force again and the fingers were removed. Large hands gripped his hips hard as something much larger rubbed against his ass, and then there was searing pain. He screamed, his eyes wide and unseeing as he fought the Force hold, desperate to get away from the cock tearing into him. Struggling only made it hurt worse and he pressed his face into the cool stone floor, tears pooling in the cracks as his master fucked into him, too far and too hard, and he could feel the blood running down his thighs. He sobbed, begged, was willing to do anything to stop the pain but nothing made a difference and he finally stopped making any noise, passively letting his body be used.

 

Hux screamed, thrashing violently to get away, to make the man fucking him stop, he just wanted it to stop. Tears ran down his face, he couldn’t get his arms free and he screamed again, desperately. The sound shocked him back to wakefulness and Hux opened his eyes to the darkness of his own bedroom, his sweat-soaked sheets tangled around him. He fought against the memories, he was alone, he was safe. His gasping breaths were loud in the quiet and he tried to calm himself down enough to get the sheets unwrapped. Hux finally succeeded, throwing them across the bed in mild panic and sat on the edge, head down, panting, gripping his hair hard to keep his hands from shaking.

It was just a dream, he told himself firmly, he wasn’t in that cargo hold, he was safe in his room. The image of black stone and the impression of someone he called master flickered across his mind and he frowned. Whenever he had nightmares about being raped they were always memories of what had actually happened to him, but this one felt different in some indefinable way. Hux didn’t really want to remember the dream but he tried to recall some details, focussing on sights and sounds rather than physical sensations. It helped him compose himself to filter through some of what he had seen, his analytical mind taking over and noting what didn’t line up with his own assault. A black stone chamber, not a ship’s cargo hold, one man instead of four, the master title confused him but he didn’t want to dwell on it too long.

Hux braced an elbow on one knee, staring at his other hand as it dropped into his lap. The hands in the dream had been bigger, the skin obviously a different shade even in the half-light, and he thought there had been strands of dark hair falling across his face. Except it wasn’t his face, it wasn’t his memory at all. The conclusion surprised him but it was the only one that made any sense, there were too many things in the dream that didn’t fit his own nightmares and the idea that he had subconsciously made up another rape scenario to dream about was far too disturbing to consider. Which only brought up an even more puzzling question, why the hell had he been having someone else’s nightmare?

‘Fuck.’ He sighed, as if he hadn’t had enough trouble sleeping before tonight. The answer niggled at him but when Hux attempted to grab at it it eluded him, slipping back into memories of being held down and he gave up in frustration. The mystery would have to wait, he didn’t want to risk too many of his own memories surfacing while he was still vulnerable enough to be hurt by them. Hux glanced at the chrono and decided it was a reasonable time to start working, that would give him something else to concentrate on.

 

Hux glared at the stars outside as if they had personally offended him. He wasn’t actually seeing them at all, his mind still worrying at the issue of the nightmare he had experienced. Ren was to blame, he was becoming increasingly sure of that. The Force could do many things and Hux wouldn’t be surprised if Ren was transmitting distressing visions to him just to upset him. How Ren had known what situation to use to cause him the most pain was something he needed to figure out fast, this attempt had been inaccurate and clumsy but the next nightmare might be closer to reality. Hux narrowed his eyes as he thought. He would confront Ren about it, be as sneering and dismissive as he always was when dealing with the irritation that was Ren and above all he was absolutely not going to give that bastard the satisfaction of knowing his tricks had hit a nerve.

‘Where’s Ren?’ He snapped at the closest junior officer, startling the man with his sudden liveliness.

The man flipped through his datapad. ‘No reports of anything destroyed today, sir. So Lord Ren must still be in his rooms.’

Hux grimaced, Ren was probably spending his time thinking up new ways to torture him. He spun around and headed straight for Ren’s rooms, determined to end this before it really had a chance to get started.

 

Hux crossed his arms and scowled at Ren. ‘This game you’re playing stops now.’

Ren’s head tilted to one side, expression confused. ‘What?’

‘You know what.’ Hux waited impatiently for a response, when he didn’t receive one he prompted Ren. ‘Last night? That disgusting dream you sent me?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Ren sounded wary now.

Hux frowned. ‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.’

Ren seemed almost skittish and he shook his head in denial. ‘You shouldn’t have seen that.’ He backed into his rooms.

Hux followed him, getting even more annoyed. ‘Then you shouldn’t have sent it to me.’

‘I didn’t!’ Ren snarled, fists clenching at his sides. ‘I don’t know why you saw it.’

Hux studied Ren carefully, he wasn’t reacting at all like Hux had expected. The dark hair falling across his eyes gave Hux a sudden dizzying sense of recognition. ‘That wasn’t just any nightmare, it was a memory. Yours.’ Hux felt incredibly stupid for not realising that earlier. ‘Snoke-’

‘I consented.’ Ren muttered, dropping his gaze.

‘Not to that.’ Ren seemed about to protest and Hux overrode him angrily. ‘Don’t. I saw, felt, what he did to you. I know what it’s like-’ Shit. He clipped the rest off, turned away from Ren.

‘Hux?’ Ren’s voice was cautious.

Hux couldn’t look at him. ‘I…’ He stopped, unable to continue, as if actually saying the words would make it more real. He glanced back at Ren, met his eyes. ‘I can’t talk about it… you can read my mind.’

Ren’s eyes widened in surprise at the invitation but he nodded. It worried Hux how easily the memories came, this whole situation had rattled him more than he wanted to admit. He felt Ren’s presence in his head, watching and Hux showed him the corridor where they’d first attacked him. There were four of them, a gang of bullies that had beaten Hux up before and he thought this was just more of the same. Then they had dragged him into a nearby cargo hold and started tearing at his clothes. He fought back wildly and his assailants had been as bloody as he was by the time one of them slammed his head into the floor so hard his vision went black for a moment. By the time Hux could see again he was naked, his wrists tied together with his own belt.

The leader was crouched over him, reaching out to run a hand through the hair between his legs. ‘So that pretty colour is natural.’

Hux struggled weakly against the unwanted touch, too dazed and injured to put up much resistance.

One of the others sniggered. ‘I’ve never fucked a ginger before.’

He gave Hux a nasty grin as they grabbed him, forcing him face down over the top of a cargo crate. Blood dripped into his eyes from a cut, blurring his sight, and he closed them, there was nothing he needed to see anyway. Hux could hear them undoing their trousers and then hands were pulling his legs apart, a hard cock nudging at his entrance. He sank his teeth into his lip, determined not to scream.

‘Hux!’

He opened his eyes in startled panic at the sound of his name, trying to get his bearings as the room swam around him, past giving way to present. He was on his knees, Ren crouched a short distance away, gazing at him in worry.

‘I don’t need to see the rest. I understand.’

Hux nodded, his mouth dry with fear even though he could still taste his own blood.

‘You’re bleeding.’ Ren reached out a hand then thought better of it and didn’t touch him.

Hux licked at his lip, he’d bitten it just as he had in his memory. He had screamed eventually, when he couldn’t take the pain anymore, his resolve worth nothing against the brutality of his rapists. Ren stared at him and Hux stared back, hoping Ren wasn’t in his head anymore.

‘What do we do now?’ Ren asked him blankly.

Hux laughed humourlessly. ‘I don’t know.’ They had something in common, even if it was something terrible, but it changed the way he thought of Ren and Hux could tell the reverse was true as well. He was pale and wide-eyed and Hux doubted that he looked much better himself.

‘It wasn’t your fault.’ Ren said abruptly. ‘They wanted to hurt someone and if you’d fought back any harder you’d probably be dead.’

Hux knew that was true, he had almost died anyway from the combined blood loss and concussion. That didn’t make it any easier to believe that he hadn’t deserved it, that there hadn’t been anything he could do to stop them.

‘You didn’t deserve it, Hux.’ Ren’s voice was far too soft and kind for his haunted expression.

‘Neither did you.’ Hux retorted sharply and Ren flinched as if he’d been struck. ‘What he did to you wasn’t your fault, Ren. He’s more powerful than you, there was nothing you could have done to stop him.’

Ren snorted in disbelief and they sat in silence, a sort of mutual understanding growing between them that Hux was cautiously optimistic about.

‘I need to go. I’m still technically on duty.’ Hux broke the quiet, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the bridge. Ren nodded as they both stood, awkwardly staring at each other as Hux backed up towards the door a few steps.

‘Wait.’ Ren vanished into his refresher then reappeared with a wet cloth. ‘Can’t let the troops see their general in less than perfect condition.’

Ren’s tone wasn’t malicious and Hux gave him a hard look before he realised Ren was teasing him, half-smiling at Hux’s glare. He pressed the cloth to Hux’s lip, wiping the blood away carefully. Hux watched him concentrate, aware of how close together they were. Ren’s thumb ran over his split lip and Hux shivered.

‘It’s swelling up.’ He glanced up at Hux and their eyes locked. Hux saw his own fear and worry reflected in Ren, the difficulty in trying to trust someone else when they had both been hurt so badly.

Ren finally moved away and Hux spun around and headed for the door.

‘Hux?’

Ren’s voice stopped him. ‘What?’

‘If I have another nightmare can I come talk to you?’ Ren sounded hesitant.

‘Yes.’ Hux didn’t even have to think about it before responding. He reached to open the door.

‘Hux?’

‘What?’ He snapped back, only slightly annoyed.

‘You can talk to me too. If you want.’

Hux didn’t bother to reply as he left, they both already knew that he would be back at Ren’s door the next time he needed someone to listen to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux didn't realise quite how bad his face was until he returned to the bridge. The crew snuck sidelong glances at him, muttering quietly amongst themselves, and it didn’t take him long to figure out what they were thinking. He had gone to see Ren and come back with a split lip, therefore Ren had hit him. Hux restrained himself from touching his lip self-consciously, there was nothing he was willing to say to his officers that would help them understand and any denial he made was only going to seem like a cover story for what had obviously happened. He settled for glaring at them when he caught them talking and eventually they stopped, though he had no doubt that the gossip for the next few days would heavily feature him and Ren. Everyone knew that Ren was wild and uncontrollable anyway, it shouldn’t bother Hux so much that they would think even worse of him now. He tried to dismiss Ren from his mind and focus on his work but he still breathed a silent sigh of relief when he finally headed back to his rooms.

 

Hux gazed into the mirror, the first opportunity he’d had to see his injury for himself. Ren had been right, his lip was swollen, a scab forming over it that he resisted the disturbing urge he felt to chew on until it bled again. This whole day had been incredibly rough on him and he knew he wasn’t at his best, his mind kept repeating everything Ren had said as if trying to decipher a coded message. He shook his head sharply to clear his thoughts and put some bacta on his lip, then pulled out his stash of sedatives, eyeing them in distaste. Hux didn’t like using the drug but he knew he needed some sleep and this was the only way he was going to get any peace tonight.

 

Hux had half-expected Ren to come see him again soon but days turned into weeks and they only spoke to each other when absolutely necessary. Which was mostly insults and fighting. It seemed nothing had really changed between them after all, Ren was still a man-child who destroyed things when he got angry and made rash decisions while Hux was trying to plan out a sound military campaign.

 

The only thing he could actually feel anymore was the blood running down his legs, little streams that trickled along the edges of his knees and pooled under his toes. His body was almost completely numb now, the earlier pain so intense it had seared his nerves raw. He couldn’t even really feel them forcing themselves inside him, but he was horribly aware of his own warm blood mixing with their hot cum on his thighs. It made what they were doing to him unbearably real, his heartbeat pulsing in time with the steady dripping of blood. The man fucking his mouth came, wrenching at his hair before dropping his head back onto the crate. He didn’t have the energy to move, just drooled blood and cum until the next cock was thrust into his mouth. He was so tired too, exhaustion hurting him worse than pain, he wanted them to stop so he could go to sleep and never wake up. No, a small part of him demanded, stay awake, you will survive this. That voice had been so much stronger earlier but now it was a faint whisper and he wondered why he should listen to it. Death would be preferable to this hell of being endlessly raped, unless he was dead already and just hadn’t realised it.

 

Hux woke suddenly, shivering violently and he wrapped himself tighter in his sheets. He was freezing, his hands ice-cold where they gripped his arms and he huddled up further, bringing his knees against his chest for warmth. The feeling of warmth and stickiness coating the inside of his legs still lingered and he swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, blinked back the tears that formed in his eyes. It’s over, they’re dead, you’re safe, he tried to convince himself. The litany wasn’t working, Hux still felt scared and vulnerable and for some ridiculous reason he wanted Ren to be here with him. Ren had made him an offer of mutual support but that had been months ago now and Hux didn’t want to be the one who needed it first, he wasn’t weak, he didn’t require reassurance from Ren of all people. He was fine, he told himself, he had survived and he was fine. Hux didn’t even change out of the old clothes he slept in before he was out his own door and heading for Ren’s.

As he stood outside Ren’s rooms Hux regretted his decision, but the door was already opening to let him in and it was too late to change his mind now.

‘Hux.’ Ren was fully clothed, lacking only his mask, Hux had never really noticed how much taller and broader than him Ren actually was. It was incredibly intimidating and Hux flinched away, suddenly terrified at how easy it would be for Ren to hurt him. ‘No! I would never…’ Ren’s indifferent gaze changed to horror and he suddenly seemed more human again with his overly expressive face. ‘Come in?’ He stepped back and made something that approximated a welcoming gesture.

Hux didn’t quite press himself against the opposite wall but he kept a cautious distance between them. ‘I had a nightmare.’ He said, feeling terribly stupid and embarrassed for coming here.

Ren glanced around in bemusement, as if he’d never seen his own rooms before. ‘Do you want to sit down?’

Hux drifted over to one of the chairs and Ren chose another, wisely keeping enough space between them to keep Hux calm. He wanted to curl up in the chair in an irrational attempt to feel both safer and warmer but he made himself keep his feet on the floor, hands clenched in his lap so hard his knuckles went white. Ren didn’t appear inclined to speak and Hux didn’t know how to start the conversation. He let his gaze wander around Ren’s rooms instead, he hadn’t really been paying much attention last time he was here. There wasn’t a lot to see, they were simple and sparse with the obvious exception of a half-melted mask on a stand and Hux shuddered as he looked at it. ‘Is that…?’

‘Vader’s mask.’ Ren said proudly.

‘It’s bloody creepy.’ Hux muttered, feeling it staring at him and he drew one knee up to his chest defensively before he could stop himself.

‘No, it’s not.’ Ren sounded utterly dismayed. ‘He’s my grandfather, it’s… it’s like he’s watching over me. Sometimes can I feel him near, as if he’s trying to protect me.’ It was a foolish sentiment but Hux felt the sting of envy despite that, he had certainly never had anyone alive or dead make any attempt to protect him. ‘I’ll protect you.’ Ren growled, his deep voice dropping even more.

Hux narrowed his eyes, not wanting to admit to himself how Ren’s words made him feel. ‘Stay out of my head, the invitation to look was a one time offer.’ He didn’t need someone to protect him anyway, he’d been more than capable of getting his own revenge on his attackers.

‘You killed them?’ Ren was still reading him apparently.

Hux huffed in irritation but answered. ‘Of course. Not directly but I orchestrated their deaths. They were… satisfactory.’ They had been too quick and painless to truly please Hux but he took a great deal of comfort in knowing the men were dead. The realisation dawned on him that Ren didn’t have even that small amount of closure, Snoke was still alive, and Ren still obeyed him. Hux was horrified at the thought, wished he had thought to ask before. ‘Does Snoke-’

‘No. It was only the one time.’ Ren’s denial seemed genuine and Hux was glad to hear it.

He rested his forehead on his knees and hugged himself tighter, Ren’s rooms were cold and he hadn’t stopped shivering since he woke from his nightmare. Something heavy touched him and his head snapped up as he shoved at it in panic, his hands grasping warm finely woven fabric. A blanket, his mind finally identified the weight.

‘Sorry.’ Ren said contritely. ‘I should have warned you.’ He hadn’t moved, he must have used the Force to drape the covering over Hux.

‘Yes, you should have done.’ Hux snapped, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, he wasn’t going to refuse the offering even if it had scared him. He stared at his hands, twisting the soft blanket in his fingers, winding it tight before letting it spin back out. ‘Thank you.’ There was no reply from Ren but Hux could sense a supportive understanding from him that didn’t need to be voiced. ‘I don’t want to keep fighting with you all the time.’ Hux’s tone wavered between demand and plea as he glanced over at Ren. ‘It’s draining on both of us and I want…’ What? He asked himself and felt pathetic at the answer. He wanted a friend, a childish longing for someone he could talk to without worrying about rank or coercion and Ren was really the only option he had.

‘You want to be my friend?’ The hopeful yearning on Ren’s face was overwhelming. ‘No one’s ever asked me to be their friend before.’

Hux shouldn’t have been as surprised at the confession as he was, it made a terrible kind of sense. ‘Yes. I want us to be friends.’ He must be totally exhausted, or he wouldn’t be acting so weak and needy but Ren gave him a shy smile that made the room feel brighter and warmer and Hux smiled back at him instinctively.

Ren fidgeted in his chair, his lower lip trembling. ‘Can I hug you?’

‘What? Why?’ He didn’t have any particular aversion to being touched, it was more that Ren’s request was simply strange.

‘Because it’s something friends do.’ Ren stated with absolute confidence.

Hux was doubtful about that but Ren was probably warm and he would very much like to not be freezing. He stood and let Ren hug him, leaning against his broad chest with a sigh, Ren was as warm as Hux had surmised and if he was honest with himself it felt nice to be held by someone, it wasn’t an experience he was particularly familiar with. A sniffle sounded next to his ear and Ren’s body shook slightly.

‘Are you crying?’ Hux hissed through gritted teeth.

‘N-no.’

Unbelievable. Hux sighed heavily and made an awkward attempt at patting Ren’s back until he finally released Hux.

‘You can stay here tonight, if you don’t want to be alone.’ Ren had that pathetic, hopeful look on his face again that made Hux wonder for whose benefit the offer had been made. Except he didn’t want to go back to his own cold bed and have more nightmares so he didn’t really have a choice.

‘Fine.’ Hux would worry about the consequences of sleeping in Ren’s bed in the morning.


End file.
